Gratitude Without Surrender: Forging Identity Beyond Immigrant Expectations
“What am I going to say to my friends if you’re not a lawyer anymore?” My father’s voice, laden with confusion and dismay, still echoes in my mind. For first-generation immigrant children, success is not individual but communal. It is built on the sacrifices of parents who gave tirelessly, the dreams of grandparents who hoped for a better future, and the unwavering support of a community that expects you to go farther than they could in the land of opportunity.
In my Haitian home, the narrative was clear: college, then doctor, lawyer or engineer. Those were the only career paths deemed acceptable by tradition and expectation. Stability, security, and success—in terms of degrees, titles, and status—were the cornerstones of my parents' American dream for their children.
And so, I followed the blueprint. I attended an ivy league university and then a top law school. I went to work for a top corporate law firm. Seven years of my life was dedicated to achieving law firm success. I was the first Black woman to be elected a full-equity partner at my firm in Washington, D.C. I had “arrived”.” The accolades came, my family was proud, and my name was synonymous with “success”.
But I didn't feel anything. Not happiness. Not satisfaction. Not purpose. Just… nothing. It took years of therapy to understand that the dream I had been pursuing wasn’t entirely mine. That, in a field where I had to double my efforts just to be seen, where microaggressions and second-guessing were the norm, I had sacrificed parts of myself to belong.
That the title, the money, and the status didn't satisfy the parts of me that needed more, they were golden handcuffs.
When I left a full equity partnership to join a startup, I wasn’t just leaving a job, I was leaving the story that had been written for me and beginning the process of writing my own story. My friends and family didn’t get it. They thought I was abandoning earned “success” for the uncertain future of a startup. But for the first time I was listening to my own voice instead of the voices of tradition and expectation. I understood and valued my personal equity and knew that my sovereignty lay elsewhere.
That choice took me down a road of transformation, from lawyer to corporate executive to entrepreneur, from living for the approval of others to creating my own definition of success. That choice allowed me to experience life in cross-cultural settings in the UK, India, Sweden and the Philippines developing a global perspective on life, business challenges and opportunities.
And in that journey, I discovered one of the most valuable lessons of my life: success is meaningless if it doesn’t reflect who you are. We pay a high price for careers that look great on paper but are hollow in our hearts. We push forward, afraid to ask the question we need to face: Is this truly the life I want?
Yes, I am living the life that I want. Today, I am using my personal equity to help shape a vibrant business landscape that
reflects all of the communities that contribute to our economy. The boutique corporate. law firm I co-founded last year supports tech enabled start-ups, growing businesses with a holistic, collaborative approach that enables us partner with clients to deliver value.
My legacy project - “root. to rise” ecosystem that I am building will empower women—particularly women of color executives and professionals — to define success on their own terms and confidently embrace entrepreneurship.
